sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
