as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
