i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
