are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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