So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
