Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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