so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
