he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
