I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
