yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
