Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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