I just saw a hot homeless man
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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