i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
