I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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