We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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