she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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