We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
