And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
