Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Last time i carry you out of a forest
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
