Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
