He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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