so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
