One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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