She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
