im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
