walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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