Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
