Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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