Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
