Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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