You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
