you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
