it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
