He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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