nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
