We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
