she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
