I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
