I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
