I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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