Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
