hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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