It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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