so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
