he was CRYING into my vagina
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
how does that bad decision feel?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
