there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
