it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
