Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I yelled at your uterus for you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
