the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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