we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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