She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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