Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
