Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
