Please, let me fuck your mom
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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